Why i refuse to choose

Updated: Feb 14, 2019

I finally found some time to read this amazingly inspiring book "Refuse to choose" from Barbara Sher. I already had tears of relieve and happiness in my eyes while reading the first few pages...

Even as a child i was conspicuously hesitant in making decisions. Every task ignited thousands of ideas in my head, of which i almost never finished a single one. Before i was even finished, there was another new, exciting project that set no limits to my creativity.

No, i do not have any kind of ADHD. I can devote myself very well to a task and stay concentrated for hours. But as soon as I have understood the basic principle of it, it bores me and i want to dedicate myself to something totally different again. Reading all about the Persian history? Of course! Learning how to make my own natural cosmetics? I already got all the tools! Building a new shelf exactly the way i draw it? Everything's ready! Joining a course on Craniosacral Therapy? Been there, done that! And so it goes on and on...

As a teenager, however, i had to make a decision: choose a profession, earn money, specialize in something... I took the first chance. Let others decide for me, so to speak. That has worked reasonably well to this day, but has never really made me happy. Why do i have to decide for something when there are so many exciting things to learn? I want to nurture all my interests, learn new things every day and finally combine everything! But our society doesn't work that way. We have to specialize in something, choose something to earn money with.

I went to therapy because of that. Because of this feeling in me. This restlessness, this eternal thirst for more... I called it "inner nervousness". This constant dissatisfaction and that i condemned myself for not being able to decide on one thing. That i did not "find my true calling". Everyone else can, why can't i?

I cannot decide on one thing because i want it all.

Then i heard about "Multipotentialites" through a TED-talk by Emilie Wapnick and for the first time i heard, that my desire to learn everything and not wanting to stick to one thing – is Okay! That i am not alone with this feeling of "dissatisfaction". It moved me to tears to hear how a "multipotentialite" (or a "scanner" as Barbara Sher calles it) was described. I could identify with this from the very first sentence on.

And now i have this incredible book in front of me, soaking up every sentence. An emotional firework of relief, joy, excitement and motivation...

Anyone who understands what I'm talking about, i'd like to recommend the book "Refuse to Choose" by Barbara Sher. And also the Ted-Talk by Emilie Wapnick.

I am looking forward to hear how you feel about this...


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